April Fools’ Day is supposed to be a day dedicated to being funny and having fun. But I have a serious question for those planning to pull one of the most cliché pranks this year:
Can we just not do the fake pregnancy post?
Every year, I see the same “funny” joke posted in my timeline on April Fool’s Day. And usually, the person posting it thinks it’s hilarious.
Except, it’s not. (Not to mention there’s a global pandemic happening, which makes this even less funny.)
And, I get it. I have to believe that the person posting this super funny gag doesn’t really know what it’s like on the other side. But I guarantee someone in their friends list knows that feeling all too well, because 1 in 8 couples have trouble getting pregnant or maintaining a pregnancy.
My husband and I had been trying for years with no luck when the fake pregnancy announcement on April Fools’ Day began to make an impact on me. Just a few days before, I had taken another negative pregnancy test. I opened up Facebook on April 1 and was just scrolling through my feed, and there it was: a picture of a positive pregnancy test with the caption,
Oh no! Here we go again!
The big joke was very evident in the comments: “APRIL FOOLS GUYS! COULD YOU EVEN IMAGINE HOW TERRIBLE THAT WOULD BE?!”
And that’s when I burst into tears.
See, it’s hard enough the rest of the year dealing with infertility. Well-meaning friends and family peppering you with questions:
“You guys will make such cute kids!”
“When are you going to finally give us a baby?”
“Your husband will be such a great daddy someday.”
“You know, it’s easier to parent when you’re younger…Don’t you want to have kids?”
And when you’re in the thick of fertility struggles, you inevitably start seeing babies everywhere. Your old co-worker is expecting; your neighbor is about to have their first baby; your cousin is pregnant again; your third-grade teacher’s daughter is having a baby; the friend no one thought would want to have a baby is pregnant; and on and on and on.
And, yeah, you’re happy for them because it’s exciting. But you’re also a little sad, because it’s not you and it feels like it will never be.
So, when I saw the thing I was hoping for with every fiber of my being was just someone’s super funny, April Fools’ joke, I felt like I was punched in the gut.
If you’re going to celebrate April Fool’s Day, be original. Come up with something that’s actually funny and hasn’t been done to death. I mean, even Justin Bieber has pulled this gag before.
Because you probably don’t know which of your Facebook friends are going through this. Because more than half of us who struggle with infertility don’t talk about it. At the time, I really didn’t talk about our issues with fertility, not even with some of my closest friends.
Today though, I’m talking about it. Honestly, I’m talking about it because I feel lucky. Lucky that I live in a community that has great reproductive health services. Lucky that after a long time with their help we were able to have our funny, stubborn, caring, loud, little boys.
It’s taken me years to feel comfortable talking about our journey with infertility. There is still this weird stigma that surrounds the topic for so many. Which is crazy when you realize how common it really is: one in eight.
So this year, I’m asking you to take a look at your friends list and do the math. I promise you know someone who understands the infertility struggle all too well. When you’re planning your hilarious post this year, keep them in mind.
And, for real guys, this April Fool’s Day can we just not?