Things I Said I’d Never Do as a Parent

never do as a parent

What’s that saying when you admit you were wrong…eating crow? Yeah, I’m doing a lot of that these days. I have had kids in my life over the years as a “bonus mom,” but in July of 2019 I welcomed my own bundle of joy. And since then, I’ve been doing things I said I’d never do.

Here’s a list of a few things I said I’d never do as a parent (although the actual list is much longer) and how they came about.  

1. Have my career take a backseat.

I have worked really hard to build my business over the years. I said yes to pretty much everything that came my way regarding events, networking, volunteering, etc. You name it, I was doing it. Then my little love arrived and it hit me. Yes, I LOVE my career and business, but time is precious and I’m an older mom who fought hard to get her. And the reality is, my daughter will be my most important legacy.

So, I did (and still do) allow my career to take a backseat when needed. Not in the sense that I don’t care about my clients, because that’s so far from the truth; but I decide to be where I am needed most. And I’ve learned to say no to a lot of things now; especially things that don’t truly serve my soul or my family.

2. Have a child sleep in my room, let alone my bed.

This one makes me laugh! I have always said the bedroom should be a sacred space for a couple. Although I still do believe this, a lot has changed. First, I did a lot of research when I was pregnant and discovered that having an infant in your room can decrease the risk of SIDS. So, I moved in the bassinet and my rocker, and then months went by, and I moved in the Pack ‘n Play. Then, we moved into a much smaller space while our home was being built; and her crib made its way into our bedroom. And then she got sick and ended up in bed with us, so I could hold her more upright to help her cough.

She’s 14 months now and wouldn’t you know, she is obsessed with snuggling with mommy and daddy IN OUR BED. Son of a biscuit! We are trying to break her of this and it’s going just swell (insert sarcastic voice). It will happen eventually. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. 

3. Have a child eat in the living room.

Again, laughing! My mom and sister have always said, “Pick your battles.” Well, I lost this one! I had a hysterectomy a month ago and with that came a lifting restriction. Due to that lifting restriction, my little girl was not to be picked up. This led to everything being done on the floor, including eating. We rocked every meal out picnic-style and I would deal with spills as they happened (and oh, did they happen). Through this experience I discovered that baby wipes make for great cleanup! I also bought a handheld vacuum to take on crumb control. My home is definitely lived in, but that’s how it should be. No white couches here. Only wipeable leather.

Never Say Never

Which brings me to that other saying, “never say never.” For real, don’t do it. There are many things I said I’d never do as a parent. Life throws us all sorts of curveballs that we can’t anticipate and the reality is, there are days when we are crushing it and days when it is crushing us. So, we roll with it, do the best we can, laugh when we become our mothers, or do the very thing we said we’d never do. 

What did you used to say you’d never do before you had your kids? Share with us in the comments! 

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Amanda is a lifer of the Fargo area, growing up just across the river in Moorhead. She was a creative, chunky, little pistol of girl that got teased a lot, but she’s convinced it also made her the person she is today. She graduated from Moorhead High; then packed up her car and drove an hour away to attend college at the University of North Dakota. After 3.5 years of being a Psychology major, she decided to shake things up and try out the Communications program, which eventually brought her back home to attend Minnesota State University Moorhead, where she received her degree. Amanda worked at ad agencies and internally in marketing roles for 10 years, then decided to start her own business. Since 2012, she has been the Bodacious Brander & CEO of MSPIRE! She threw in a marriage, a divorce, lots of travel and volunteerism throughout those years too. Now, she’s with her other half Jon, who she originally met at UND (wow, life has a way of throwing you curveballs). He has two boys, David (14) and Marcus (11), so she proudly wears the title of bonus mom. Speaking of those curveballs, after battling fertility issues for decades, Amanda found out she was pregnant, with only 3% odds, and welcomed Evelyn just four days before her 39th birthday! Needless to say, life got a lot cuter and more chaotic really quick. Amanda and her significant other are both business owners, so they love spending time away from work chasing the kids to their activities, watching movies, traveling and being foodies.

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