The Question That Sparked a Simple Marriage Lesson


I slipped on a pair of earrings, brushed on some light powder, swiped on mascara, and walked out of the bathroom early Saturday morning in my jeans and simple blouse. 

It wasn’t anything special, but definitely outside of my normal yoga pants, t-shirt, and ponytail.

“Why don’t you ever dress up like that for me?” my husband lamented jokingly as he watched me walk out of the bathroom.

I playfully slapped his leg and with a little sarcasm (and perhaps a hint of passive aggressiveness) replied, “Well, why don’t you ever take me out somewhere?”

Then I kissed him goodbye and headed out the door.

But his question lingered with me throughout the day.

At first I was a bit annoyed and thought:

“Well, maybe if you took me on a date sometime, I’d get dressed up.”

“I’m not going to get all fancy when I’m home all day getting kid slobber on me.”

“When was the last time you got dressed up for me?”

But after my brief mental tantrum ended, I thought more deeply about his words, my response, and what I really felt.

That morning I realized two things about my marriage.

1. I am blessed.

How lucky I am to have found a love so deep that I can wake up every morning and do nothing to myself and still be loved, cared about, and revered so deeply from my husband.

He still wants to kiss me, even when I haven’t put on a swipe of deodorant that entire day, wearing my day-three yoga pants, and messy bun.

I feel so comfortable in our relationship and so deeply loved that I know 100% that what I look like won’t affect how much my husband cares about me.

This is the marriage I had always wanted. How blessed am I?

2. My husband misses me.

I knew deep down that my husband’s comment wasn’t a reflection of him wishing I looked different or better. 

It was him saying he missed me.

He was right. On the rare occasions when I did pretty myself up a bit, it wasn’t for him. It was for church, or a meeting, or a friends night out.

But isn’t he just as important? Isn’t he more important?

Remember the Honeymoon Stage

Three little kids take up most of our days. Twelve years of marriage provides us with a level of comfort and ease we so readily slide into. The young, dreamy honeymoon stage no longer exists.

But no, I don’t want that stage back. I much prefer where we are and I know he does too. But I am going to remember that every so often I should try to jump back into that courtship stage— even if only just for a bit.

It’s as simple as putting on earrings and jeans just for my husband, and no one else. 

For more ways to strengthen your relationship, see 4 Simple Ways to Nurture Your Marriage.

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Michaela, along with her husband Jarrod, raise their three young children in Fargo. Michaela grew up on a farm in Western North Dakota, where she developed the strong value of a good day of hard work. So now she rarely sits still. You will find her leading a large network marketing team with Rodan + Fields and running her own training and events company, which developed the Limitless Conference for small business owners. She also loves public speaking and jumps at the chance to share her journey and teach others. You could say she has a passion for growing things... businesses, plants, and people, and feels most blessed to be able to run her businesses from home while growing her family. Michaela hopes to inspire other moms to build businesses and be proud of their personal and professional lives. So often we as moms find ourselves being wrapped in guilt... guilt of working instead of being home with our kids, guilt of being home with our kids and not working, or guilt of being stressed and frazzled trying to do both. But, she believes there is no such thing as balance and if we love our kids and love our careers, both will turn out just fine.


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