I slipped on a pair of earrings, brushed on some light powder, swiped on mascara, and walked out of the bathroom early Saturday morning in my jeans and simple blouse.
It wasn’t anything special, but definitely outside of my normal yoga pants, t-shirt, and ponytail.
“Why don’t you ever dress up like that for me?” my husband lamented jokingly as he watched me walk out of the bathroom.
I playfully slapped his leg and with a little sarcasm (and perhaps a hint of passive aggressiveness) replied, “Well, why don’t you ever take me out somewhere?”
Then I kissed him goodbye and headed out the door.
But his question lingered with me throughout the day.
At first I was a bit annoyed and thought:
“Well, maybe if you took me on a date sometime, I’d get dressed up.”
“I’m not going to get all fancy when I’m home all day getting kid slobber on me.”
“When was the last time you got dressed up for me?”
But after my brief mental tantrum ended, I thought more deeply about his words, my response, and what I really felt.
That morning I realized two things about my marriage.
1. I am blessed.
How lucky I am to have found a love so deep that I can wake up every morning and do nothing to myself and still be loved, cared about, and revered so deeply from my husband.
He still wants to kiss me, even when I haven’t put on a swipe of deodorant that entire day, wearing my day-three yoga pants, and messy bun.
I feel so comfortable in our relationship and so deeply loved that I know 100% that what I look like won’t affect how much my husband cares about me.
This is the marriage I had always wanted. How blessed am I?
2. My husband misses me.
I knew deep down that my husband’s comment wasn’t a reflection of him wishing I looked different or better.
It was him saying he missed me.
He was right. On the rare occasions when I did pretty myself up a bit, it wasn’t for him. It was for church, or a meeting, or a friends night out.
But isn’t he just as important? Isn’t he more important?
Remember the Honeymoon Stage
Three little kids take up most of our days. Twelve years of marriage provides us with a level of comfort and ease we so readily slide into. The young, dreamy honeymoon stage no longer exists.
But no, I don’t want that stage back. I much prefer where we are and I know he does too. But I am going to remember that every so often I should try to jump back into that courtship stage— even if only just for a bit.
It’s as simple as putting on earrings and jeans just for my husband, and no one else.
For more ways to strengthen your relationship, see 4 Simple Ways to Nurture Your Marriage.