The Date Night Box Fail

date night

date night

I had high hopes that 2020 was going to be a great year to reconnect with my husband. We had planned to make date nights a priority. Then January passed, February rolled around, we welcomed a baby into the world, then March (and COVID) hit. The combination of having a newborn and being in the midst of a worldwide pandemic derailed our plans. 

The restaurants and movie theaters that we would go to were closed. The events we would normally attend were canceled. The fun activities I thought we would do just couldn’t happen. 

Now three vaccines are available and places are now beginning to open, but what wasn’t opened up once from 2020? The Date Night Box I raved about in a previous post in February 2020. 

I had planned out all our events for all of 2020. Both stay at home date night ideas and plans for out on the town. But I will own up to this, not once did we even open the box to look at the dates.

I found the box shoved in the back of a cabinet during our move. A reminder that we haven’t done anything.

Now the realization that we didn’t do even one single date for most of 2020 weighs heavy on me.

I sit here asking myself, “Why?” as I see our rings in our dish holder from cleaning up another family meal. The dish is dirty, needing some TLC. A symbol of how our past year has been and the state of our marriage.

What happened to our date nights?

Obviously, it was harder to get out of the house. And then maybe we became too tired and depressed or unmotivated to put the effort into dates at home. We were already stuck in our house and the thought of a date at home had very little appeal.

Mentally, we checked out. Emotionally, we knew we needed to take time to nurture our relationship, but never did. Physically, the set up for a date night at home didn’t make sense with our children being so little and our dogs getting into everything.

We were unable to muster up the energy and take the time to “date” each other. Maybe it took all we had this year just to get through the grind of everyday life. And at the end of the day, we just needed to recharge. We became lazy and comfortable with just turning the TV on and then scrolling on our phones.

Whatever the reason, we did not take the time to nurture our relationship through date nights in 2020. And now, it’s like an untended garden. So lately if you have been thinking, “We’ve become distant,” or, “I don’t know who you are anymore,” when you look at your spouse, know that I’m there with you. 

And I know it’s possible to get back on track. But how do you start when you feel it’s more of a chore, versus the excitement and butterflies you both felt when you first started dating? You have to take the time and effort to restart again and date your spouse.  

I know it takes work (and time) to reconnect and keep your marriage strong, but know it will come with time and effort. Find what works for you both, and maybe even dust off that ol’ date night box that didn’t get used in 2020. 

You will find that connection again, and maybe even a new date night favorite in 2021!

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Danielle is a born-and-raised native to Aurora, CO who recently moved from Fort Lauderdale, FL to Fargo for work and family. Extreme hot to an extremely cold climate makes for fun experiences. She has her bachelor's degree in Communication Studies with a minor in Recreation, Tourism & Hospitality and will always be there to support her Alma Mater, the University of Northern Colorado (Go Bears!), but also tries not to blend into the sea of Bison fans as a UND fan. She is married to her husband, who works in the medical field, and juggles a life of being a wife, momma to two girls and two terriers, and a full-time sales manager. Her house is never quiet, or clean with games, toys and crafting materials everywhere, but she wouldn't change it. Her goal in writing is to help keep your day light-hearted with humor about how things never go as they seem when outnumbered by children, while also sharing topics, tips, and tricks for odd and funky things.

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