I had high hopes that 2020 was going to be a great year to reconnect with my husband. We had planned to make date nights a priority. Then January passed, February rolled around, we welcomed a baby into the world, then March (and COVID) hit. The combination of having a newborn and being in the midst of a worldwide pandemic derailed our plans.
The restaurants and movie theaters that we would go to were closed. The events we would normally attend were canceled. The fun activities I thought we would do just couldn’t happen.
Now three vaccines are available and places are now beginning to open, but what wasn’t opened up once from 2020? The Date Night Box I raved about in a previous post in February 2020.
I found the box shoved in the back of a cabinet during our move. A reminder that we haven’t done anything.
Now the realization that we didn’t do even one single date for most of 2020 weighs heavy on me.
I sit here asking myself, “Why?” as I see our rings in our dish holder from cleaning up another family meal. The dish is dirty, needing some TLC. A symbol of how our past year has been and the state of our marriage.
What happened to our date nights?
Obviously, it was harder to get out of the house. And then maybe we became too tired and depressed or unmotivated to put the effort into dates at home. We were already stuck in our house and the thought of a date at home had very little appeal.
Mentally, we checked out. Emotionally, we knew we needed to take time to nurture our relationship, but never did. Physically, the set up for a date night at home didn’t make sense with our children being so little and our dogs getting into everything.
We were unable to muster up the energy and take the time to “date” each other. Maybe it took all we had this year just to get through the grind of everyday life. And at the end of the day, we just needed to recharge. We became lazy and comfortable with just turning the TV on and then scrolling on our phones.
Whatever the reason, we did not take the time to nurture our relationship through date nights in 2020. And now, it’s like an untended garden. So lately if you have been thinking, “We’ve become distant,” or, “I don’t know who you are anymore,” when you look at your spouse, know that I’m there with you.
And I know it’s possible to get back on track. But how do you start when you feel it’s more of a chore, versus the excitement and butterflies you both felt when you first started dating? You have to take the time and effort to restart again and date your spouse.
I know it takes work (and time) to reconnect and keep your marriage strong, but know it will come with time and effort. Find what works for you both, and maybe even dust off that ol’ date night box that didn’t get used in 2020.
You will find that connection again, and maybe even a new date night favorite in 2021!