So it’s happening — your daughter is getting her period for the first time.
Any woman can tell you when they got their first period and, more than likely, how unprepared and embarrassed they felt at that time.
My Experience
I was a late bloomer. And so by the time my period arrived, I had already heard many horror stories from my friends.
It didn’t help that this wasn’t really a topic my mom discussed at length with me. While her dive into puberty was a valiant effort and over the top awkward, she skirted around what it meant to get your period outside of the medically obvious.
And what no one prepared me for was the fact that being an athlete meant I’d miss lots of periods. It also meant that when I did get them, they’d be excruciatingly heavy and last longer than seven days. Most people have regular cycles. I was not one of them.
There were so many things that felt abnormal about my period, that were actually pretty common. And I might have known to anticipate, given more information.
Period Prep
When my daughter began showing physical signs of entering puberty (at age 10), I wanted to be prepared to talk with her honestly and give her all the tools she might need.
It was about that same time I had heard of moms throwing their daughters period parties and putting together period kits. I felt this would make chatting about it a little less weird and my daughter could have something with her if she got her first period at school.
Here’s what I put together for my daughter:
Period Kit Items
- 1 large wet bag (to stash all the things)
- 2 smaller wet bags (for extra underwear/pants or used ones)
- 1 tampon holder (holds 5 and I bought one for myself!)
- 1 warming rice sloth to soothe period cramps (I also bought one for myself)
- Celebrate Your Body 2: The Ultimate Puberty Book for Preteen and Teen Girls, Celebrate Your Body, by Dr. Carrie Leff
- The Period Book: A Girl’s Guide to Growing Up, by Karen Gravelle
One afternoon we sat out on the deck and went through her period kit together. I felt it was helpful to go through why I picked out each item and highlight a few main things.
Talking Points
- Yes, it’s going to happen, you will leak into your underwear/pants.
- Not all periods are created equal and flow will vary.
- You can choose to use tampons/pads/period underwear, depending on what you’re comfortable with.
- Cramps might be debilitating, might require pain reliever, and can be light or intense.
Books as Resources
We then read through parts of each book together, so I could make sure to hit on anything that might be unclear or super weird.
I really appreciated and enjoyed both books for being precise, but also not overwhelming.
Over that summer my daughter would read some and then occasionally ask me questions, which was one of my biggest goals. To open that door to conversation. Especially now that she’s a tween, conversation about anything remotely awkward are reduced to exclamations of, “Why are you like this and so weird?!” and, “Ew, no.”
I feel that I have given her helpful information that she can use. And now I have something to touch back on and can feel comfortable asking, “Hey, how are you feeling, how’s it going?” And she can honestly reply.
Overall, I felt the period kit was beneficial. And I greatly encourage parents of daughters to build their own and buy books that support the knowledge they’d like to share.
For more on navigating life with older kids, see What to Do with Screens, Tweens, and Teens.
