Mama, Pause That Scroll If You Need To

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social media mom

I’ll admit, I had to step away from social media for awhile. I’m a 34-year-old woman, and I gave myself a mama time out. All the negativity was really wearing on me, and I needed a break. Anyone else feel this way, too?

So. MUCH. NEGATIVITY! It’s amazing how even just reading negative social media comments on a daily basis can really wear on you. I had had enough, so I took a social media hiatus. And you know what? It was incredibly helpful. 

Social Media Negativity

I follow a lot of “mom blogs” and accounts on social media. Baby born in March 2018? There’s a group for that. Have a toddler? There’s a group for that. First grade kiddo? Yep.  A group to do crafts with your kids, feed your kids, how to be a working mom, how to be a mom in general; yes, there is a group for all the things! While I’m not much of a commenter in said groups, I do go on them and read the comments.

That is why we need to talk! 

Moms, some of us are HORRIBLE to each other! Like really, really horrible. Has anyone else noticed that in every social media mom group there is what they a call a “moderator?” We have to have a moderator in each group because we can be such jerks to one another! Gina has a question about a bottle, and you instantly comment about how breast is best and Gina turns into some horrible mama who literally just wanted to ask about a bottle brand. I mean, really?

During my social media timeout, I looked at the groups my husband was a part of. His list was much smaller. He is a member of a group about grills and smoking meat. You know what the people do in this group? They post pictures of meat they are smoking and everyone chimes in about how good it looks or shares pictures of their meat and they all crack a beer and share spice recipes and THAT’S IT! Nobody gets mad at Gerald because it’s his first time using a meat smoker and he isn’t sure what to do. Nope, they cheer him on and share tips and tricks of how to smoke that baby just right. 

Could you imagine the cooking groups we would be a part of? There would of course have to be a moderator, because if Tina posted a picture of her smoked meat, Linda the vegan would defiantly chime in about animal cruelty and how she is harming her children and then you would have 30 other comments attacking both parties. Then you would have a social scroller like me reading said comments like, “OH NO SHE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!”  or “YOU GO Tina, way to stand your ground, girl!”

Seriously, we need to stop. 

What ever happened to all the talk of “mom tribes” and “we are in this together?” Like it or not, we don’t get through this mom thing without each other. So why not lift each other up instead of jumping down each others throats all the dang time? Bottle, breast, disposable, cloth, veggies, chicken nuggets; who cares? Are you a good human? Do you love your kids? Do you do the very best you can each and every day? Great, we are on the same page.

Let’s Lift Each Other Up

Any questions about life you have after that should be just that, QUESTIONS where you get a “Hey mama, I get it …here is what worked for us” answer. That’s it; that is all we have to do. We drop the mic and pray for that mom. 

I am not perfect. I am not even close. But I am good at some things that my girlfriends are not and vice versa. I have a girlfriend who is always on top of stuff, all the time. She knows I am usually coming in hot, not knowing if I am coming or going. But you know what she does? She doesn’t judge me (well, not out loud anyway). She knows when things are coming up that our kids are a part of together and she kindly reminds me. I thank her endlessly and remind her how amazing she is. And that’s it. 

Do I think social media mom groups are wonderful on some levels? Yes, I really do. I have gotten some amazing ideas and input that I wouldn’t have ever thought of, and I can share those with my friends. But if I would never let the moms in my close circle speak to me that way or allow them in my life, why in the heck am I letting a stranger across the country get under my skin about my choices for my family? How silly does that sound when you really say it out loud?

You are a human, you are a mom, and you are a female. We have big feelings, big emotions, and we are good at some things and not so good at others. But the problems going on in this world right now are so far bigger than whether or not you use a pacifier. Don’t let Karen bring you down, and don’t get sucked up into the negative social media comments. Choose joy, choose to uplift someone, and choose to be the reason someone smiles. Let’s stop bringing people down, and stop believing that your opinion is the only one that matters or always needs to be heard. 

Take a social media break if you need to, because remember if we aren’t happy and taking care of ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally, our ship won’t sail!

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Ashley Bosh
Ashley is a North Dakota native and lives in Fargo with her husband, Zach, and their three sweet, energetic kiddos Ella, William and Charleigh. A full-time working mom in sales, Ashley constantly finds herself trying to find the balance between family and work. When she is not folding piles of laundry, playing taxi driver, volunteering to "make" cookies she bought at the store, or showing any given member of her family where the "lost" item is, Ashley is dreaming about the trips she will take one day and planning her early morning workouts that will happen once her youngest figures out the whole sleep thing. She also enjoys lots of family time, summers at the lake, and volunteering in our amazing community. Ashley's guilty pleasures are dry shampoo, Botox, coffee, and red wine. She loves her mama tribe and recognizes how important community truly is.

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